when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
