He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I understand Curling. That high.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
