Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
