sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
