therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do herpes really smell.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
