he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
