yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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