You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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