dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
