My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
