And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
