somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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