sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
