All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
