Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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