TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
