he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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