But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
