A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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