Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
