If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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