Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
