Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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