I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
