His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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