I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
