I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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