Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
