Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
