why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
