I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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