ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
