dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
