when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
