Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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