Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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