Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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