census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
