My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
