and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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