you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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