Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
