So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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