i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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