Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
