if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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