how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
