i permit you to call me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have aggressive nipples.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
