Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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