Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
