I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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