you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
