You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Quick, to the slutcave!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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